I think it's not that I can't be romantic.. But more like I forgot how to.. haha When you told me that you did not like mushy stuff.. I guess I threw everything away just to be your perfect guy.. hahaa I should have known you actually like it..

Another thing is your family... They don't really approve of me and furthermore they don't know we are together.. That alone limits a lot of things I want to do...

You have also started your internship, and I have school, not to say how much time we get to go out together, the amount of time I see you has also decreased..

Another is I guess my point o romantic and your is different? haha somehow I find doing little stuff is already romantic to me.. BIG and flashy stuff not really needed.. haha and also I can't do as much handy work as you..

Who says girls can't be romantic to guys? haha we don't have to follow tradition do we? The guy used to pay for everything, but now girls share the cost too right? Maybe I don't get your definition of romantic... Maybe you can lead me by example? I'm sure our lives would be more colourful then... hahaha

Another thing.. is $$ >_< I quite tight on expenses too.. But I don't mind spending once in a while if it's for you..

So all I could say on the phone was sorry.. I didn't know what else to say... It was the only thing I could think of... That I can't meet your expectations.. I can try... If only things were simpler... If only your parents were okay with it like mine... haha if only...

But for now.. I'm sorry..



Ps.. It kinda hurt... just a little...

thanks zi yong for coming over to give me a neck rub juz now. i feel better now.. i just feel like crying after that..

It reminded me of the time brenda gave me a neck rub when i had a stiff neck... the first and last was probably... several months ago...it was those times i really feel that you loved me. those times were u actually TRIED to make me happy or try to apologize and stuff like that.

i dont think i can ever be ur perfect guy. im not a prince or usui that exists to make you happy and u just have to sit there and just receive.. sometimes i wonder who is the immature one.

You are an incredible girl. i guess u already have long lost interest in me. I even feel selfish for keeping you with me and trying to force this through even though i noe you dont want it anymore..

I cant even remember what was poly life without you.. sigh