thanks zi yong for coming over to give me a neck rub juz now. i feel better now.. i just feel like crying after that..

It reminded me of the time brenda gave me a neck rub when i had a stiff neck... the first and last was probably... several months ago...it was those times i really feel that you loved me. those times were u actually TRIED to make me happy or try to apologize and stuff like that.

i dont think i can ever be ur perfect guy. im not a prince or usui that exists to make you happy and u just have to sit there and just receive.. sometimes i wonder who is the immature one.

You are an incredible girl. i guess u already have long lost interest in me. I even feel selfish for keeping you with me and trying to force this through even though i noe you dont want it anymore..

I cant even remember what was poly life without you.. sigh