i wish all of my bandmates like to play jrock as much as i do.. or could it be that i dont belong?

i never made excuses.

I think it's not that I can't be romantic.. But more like I forgot how to.. haha When you told me that you did not like mushy stuff.. I guess I threw everything away just to be your perfect guy.. hahaa I should have known you actually like it..

Another thing is your family... They don't really approve of me and furthermore they don't know we are together.. That alone limits a lot of things I want to do...

You have also started your internship, and I have school, not to say how much time we get to go out together, the amount of time I see you has also decreased..

Another is I guess my point o romantic and your is different? haha somehow I find doing little stuff is already romantic to me.. BIG and flashy stuff not really needed.. haha and also I can't do as much handy work as you..

Who says girls can't be romantic to guys? haha we don't have to follow tradition do we? The guy used to pay for everything, but now girls share the cost too right? Maybe I don't get your definition of romantic... Maybe you can lead me by example? I'm sure our lives would be more colourful then... hahaha

Another thing.. is $$ >_< I quite tight on expenses too.. But I don't mind spending once in a while if it's for you..

So all I could say on the phone was sorry.. I didn't know what else to say... It was the only thing I could think of... That I can't meet your expectations.. I can try... If only things were simpler... If only your parents were okay with it like mine... haha if only...

But for now.. I'm sorry..



Ps.. It kinda hurt... just a little...

thanks zi yong for coming over to give me a neck rub juz now. i feel better now.. i just feel like crying after that..

It reminded me of the time brenda gave me a neck rub when i had a stiff neck... the first and last was probably... several months ago...it was those times i really feel that you loved me. those times were u actually TRIED to make me happy or try to apologize and stuff like that.

i dont think i can ever be ur perfect guy. im not a prince or usui that exists to make you happy and u just have to sit there and just receive.. sometimes i wonder who is the immature one.

You are an incredible girl. i guess u already have long lost interest in me. I even feel selfish for keeping you with me and trying to force this through even though i noe you dont want it anymore..

I cant even remember what was poly life without you.. sigh

♥♥

Thank you honey for the lovely mp3 player... I really reallllly like it.. Sometimes i wish mp3 players have alarm clocks too!

THE INVISIBLE WALL - The GazettE.mp3

Yo dudes and dudettes~ I thought since I was up so late and feeling extremely bored.. I should blog a post.

Today, Kai, Anuar, Fahmi and I went to Kai's house for a mini goreng/jamming session. It surprising how we all fit into Kai's room, including Kai's gf, An.

It was really realllllly hard to play without a drummer. Everyone sounded off beat, it was so confusing haha. However, singing without a mic and singing with being able to hear yourself is still the best! However, as time went on, I was screaming again hahaha. Somehow I think the acoustic audition would be better for me. More relaxed, you know?

The problem is.... until now, we still don't have a name... hahaha everyone is working their hardest! We are slowly but surely getting there. I doubt the acoustics will be a problem. Some rehearsals should do it. When it is acoustics, I like to drag the song slower hhaaha, well that's what my heart and emotions are telling me to do. I hope the rest would follow my tempo just this once~ =P

Goreng session was crazy again.. Kai just opened a riff on his laptop. And we pass the guitar around, making our own solos. It was really fun! Kai was obviously an expert in goreng-ing already. Anuar has a whole lot of potential, Fahmi too! I... have never played guitar before.. I just tried a few techniques I saw the guys doing. And a few random notes, even though sometimes I missed the string and played another string instead... T^T But Anuar said it sounded nice! hahaha power of goreng..

Is it always so hard to find names for bands? hahaha I really love this band. Everyone is so hardworking and have so much potential (except me). I will go crazy every time I play with them hahaha. People say I drunk..

Another issue... I hope my face doesn't turn red when I perform.. T^T It has been a real problem for me.. I wish I can't blush.. People say I turn really red when I laugh too hard or am embarrassed.. It's even more embarrassing when I know that I'm shining red.

It started during sec 3! I seriously did not blush before that! I was even the one making fun of people who blushed. But the nest year, I was the one being made fun off! HAHAHA serves me right I guess.. I shall try not to laugh at others anymore T^T.

When it gets late, nonsense just keeps flowing in, huh? hahaha. I can go on for pages! But I guess I'd spare you guys the agony~

-Ren "Rolling Thunder Potato"-ing away!

PS. Goreng means playing it randomly. Just playing what you feel.
PPS. Rolling thunder potato used to be Anuar's nickname.

ReBirth - Acid Black Cherry.mp3

Hey peeps! Finally got of my lazy ass to blog a happy post hahaha. It's been an OKAY week I guess. My new band and I have started jamming! For our first jamming, it was pretty awesome. I can't wait to jam again. Goreng (anyhow play) was damn fun! hahaa

I am currently thinking of our band name.. And I have some pretty good ones.. haha hopefully the band will like it as well! im so excited.

-Going all out for gakuensai and EOY!